I’m NOT CONFORMED, so I raise my kids in a BUBBLE!

Our culture (even most Christians) will look down upon those who choose to shelter their children from the messed up/ backwards culture we live in. How ironic. They complain about everything that is wrong with the youth today yet they oppose parents who refuse to let their children partake in the very culture that is anti-christianity, anti-values and anti-morals. How did we get here? I mean, who dropped the ball? I see  a lot of older people complain about our generation but I have some ugly news (truth) to fill you in folks…YOU dropped the ball. No, this is not the blame game…this is hard truth and honesty. For a moment lets examine ourselves and the way we trained our kids. Send them off to school, did you? Spent but a few minutes in ACTUAL dialogue with your little ones as they grew up because you were so busy working, and cooking when you got home you didn’t have enough time to REALLY dig deep into that child’s soul and give them the foundation they needed…am I right? You allowed them to watch secular tv, listen to secular music and wear all the hip clothing everyone else did, just because you felt so guilty for not being around you overcompensated with “making them happy”…? Are you still wondering how we got here? I am not.

Older folks, don’t complain about our generation because YOU were the ones who raised us! 🙂 SAD but true!

Now, to the newer generation of parents…to you I say: WHY? Why are you raising your child just like unbelievers do? Oh, you take them to church? WOW! What’s that? You do an occasional bible study with them? Hmmm. Thought provoking. As believers our goal is to be more like Christ as we undergo the sanctification process. That doesn’t mean you allow your children to blend in with the world for the sake of evangelism. The biggest excuse I have ever heard on why parents allow the their children to do/watch/listen to the things they do is ” They are called to be salt and light, and besides we can’t shelter them because they wont know how to live in the “real” world.” Apparently God wants us to live in an unreal world. What is the “real world” to you? Being cool and accepted by a bunch of brats at school that don’t know the first thing about acting un-foolish?!  Not getting into too much trouble during middle school and high school? Not sleeping around too much, or at least not getting anyone pregnant? Or how about not drinking too much? Sounds to me like a bunch of mediocre expectations to pave the way to a mediocre kid.

I am going to let you in on a little secret…the “real world is not what society tells you it is. The REAL world is what God defines it to be. And He has outlined HOW we are to live in THIS world. LIVE IN the WORLD NOT of the world. Meaning, you are alive in this present cosmos but DO NOT be tainted by it. Be separate. BE SET APART! Instead, we are confusing our children to kingdom come because in one hand we allow all this behavior OF the world while we tell them not to be of the world. HUH? By your actions you send a message. Don’t think they will listen to your words and ignore your actions. By example you are leading them to be lukewarm. By example you are introducing them to lukewarm christianity because in all honesty the kind of Christianity people like the Duggars live is just, well, too radical. I mean, no cable? They don’t date in high school and have NO desire to? They let God decide how many children to bless them with? The girls uphold the highest standards when it comes to modesty. They don’t listen to secular music or read teen bop?!!!

CRAZY! I know! Not so much…that’s the way it is in our home. I don’t want kids that blend in. I want kids that will set the standard for others when they are in public. I want kids so grounded in truth and their love for the Savior, their desires will be that of Jesus.

Whoever said that kids need to be exposed to the garbage our culture has to offer in order to be “prepared” for the “real world” is a moron (fool) to say the least. They don’t have any idea what the “real world” is and how radical the call of the Savior is. His call is to be His disciple, not just His convert. To DIE to self and follow HIM. If you do not take this call to parenthood seriously, you will find yourself 10 years down the road asking what went wrong. Don’t treat your child like an adult. A child is not to be salt and light beloved, a child is to be discipled. They are to be protected and influenced by godly and wholesome things only! Childhood is a time to build character and integrity, to set a solid foundation of biblical morals and values that will influence every decision your child will make for the rest of his life. Who is he being influenced by? The atheistic public school system? Secular TV, that seeks to brain wash your kids into having sex at 9 years old (don’t tell me that cartoon channels are exempt). Hannah Montana perhaps? Who is their “idol”? The answers to these questions will tell you if you are raising a worldly child with some Jesus sprinkled on top or if you are seeking to raise genuine disciples. As for me and my house, we will continue to raise our children “sheltered” from this sick culture that seeks nothing more than to destroy our children’s innocence and to ensnare them in addictions from a young age.

This was my FB status today in response to someone stating that our kids ought to be ready for the real world and being around unbelievers…when I posted about  homeschooling and the fact that christian schools are looking more and more like public schools when it comes to morals/values…

The call to be salt and light in the world was never given to a child. Children are overexposed to way too much garbage these days. Moreover, you can’t honestly tell me the Duggar kids don’t know how to function in the ” real world”. They do! They were protected from the garbage and taught discernment in their home by their mother and father. They didn’t have to go to any institution to know how to deal with unbelievers. A child was never given the call to save anyone and to that effect no one can ” save” anyone. When you send your child off to school you are setting them up for disaster. God never gave the authority to the government or anyone else to train a child but the parents alone! A child that is away from their parents 8-10 hours a day by the very definition are not being raised by their parents. I don’t need to experience homosexuality to be ale to witness to a homosexual. I don’t need to expose my child to a lot of things in order to equip them to live in the ” real world”. We have a lot of mixed up and messed up Christianity today because Christians continue to use the excuse of a child being salt and light and sending their kids off to the atheist government to be indoctrinated to hate God. You don’t stand a chance as a parent is you only get to influence them on the weekends and a few hours at night. We impact society by training our own children as God expects us to, to be SEPARATE, not to blend in for the sake of evangelism. To be radical and untainted by the world. When that child become an adult their solid foundation has been established at home and they will be more than equipped to share the gospel by the way they live. I know a lot of Christians that act just like unbelievers in order to ” reach” them and that is not only a disservice to the Lord, is not biblical christianity. So I will continue to raise my kids in a bubble, and away from all the garbage s culture has to offer. I have a 10-year-old that was raised that way and he is completely different from all the other 10 year olds I have known. He loves the Lord, does not conform to anyone’s pattern…takes his bible to school to read on his spare time not because anyone told him to, but because he loves the bible. Has never said a bad word and reads books on integrity ( by choice) after school. So if you ask me, it works! The bible works! Protecting your children from this dysfunctional, messed up ungodly culture works!

In closing, I know 14-year-old girls who profess Christ…have Christian parents and they are dating, wearing tiny shorts, being disrespectful to parents, using make up etc. HOW their parents do not see what’s coming is beyond my comprehension. Do not be alarmed to find that your kids walk away from the faith when they are older because chances are they never saw real faith lived out on their homes to begin with. How is a child supposed to want to be set apart if parents have no such desire in their personal lives? The problem is not the children! The problem is the lack of biblical parenting from so-called “Christians”.

This culture has nothing but foolishness to offer my precious children. It doesn’t equip them to honor or serve the Lord, it calls them to resist the Creator, to rebel against parents and do defy all morals and values. Why would I want my children to be exposed to that? They are very fragile when they are growing up…that is the time to learn right vs wrong and absolute truth. There is no absolute truth in our culture, and without absolute truth you have an “everything goes” culture, I don’t want any part of. When God called us to be set apart, that’s what He meant. Not to blend in and have some label on the side that spells “Christian on weekends”. To be set apart is to have nothing to do with the rest, what/who you are being set apart FROM. Do not look like them, do not talk like them, do not listen or watch what they do but be the opposite of what our culture suggests. Lukewarm christianity is rampant in our country and if you don’t take a radical stance against it, you will be sucked right into it.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

About Disciple of Christ, Wife, Mommy of 5 blessings & NM Top Earner.

As a wife, homeschooling stay at home mom of 5 beautiful blessings, taxi, chef, doctor, philosopher etc, my life is full of adventures everyday. Most of the adventures lead me to find another lost piece of my identity concealed deep within my heart. I have always felt that there was more to life than just “making it through”. After 5 little ones (4 under 4 & in diapers), I lost all the pieces I had found along the way. I was left with thinking my identity was being a wife and mom. “This can’t be all there is to me!”, I reasoned. Who am I? What’s in my heart? Why do I thrive around beauty and my heart leaps for joy when experiencing something as simple as a sunset. A feeling like I am free, inside. My heart can breathe again as if it had been holding its oxygen all along. Did God make me like this, I wondered? I felt guilty for longing to let my heart be free once again. After all the picture we have of a “perfect” woman is one that is ALWAYS busy! Always volunteering, always giving of herself with never once a thought of the state of her inner being. That is why we lose our hearts. Vulnerability is not welcomed anywhere. Femininity in its purest form is frowned upon. Why? Because women are supposed to be tough! The kind of tough that is just wrong. We are trained to hide our vulnerability, along with our femininity, very early in life. The wounds we have received as little girls leave us reacting as women like that wounded little girl would: we retreat, we regress. The message we received? You can’t trust anyone! Your femininity and vulnerability is a weakness. Most of us walk through life “playing” or pretending to be someone we’re truly not. As adults, we make choices based on how we were programmed when we were young. The real us hides somewhere inside, waiting to be rescued. Like a wounded animal hiding from its master, wanting to trust and soar again, but so afraid of the uncertainty that awaits. The risk is not worth it, we think to ourselves. To be quite honest most of you have not found a safe place to be yourselves. Embarking on a quest to find the real you takes courage. God created you in His image. Adam bears the image of a warrior God. A man is supposed to tell the world, on God’s behalf, He will come through for you. Eve bears the image of a captivating God and her heart is made to show His beauty. A woman is supposed to tell the world, everything is ok. She is that calm & quiet spirit. Safety; a place of refuge and healing beauty. This is what our hearts long for; Eden. The place for which we were created. The place in our hearts we know we belong. I am just a simple girl on a quest to finding my heart. Not the way I was “shaped” by the world but the way God created me. I pray that this journey will be encouraging and uplifting to others. I am going on an adventure and invite you to come with me! I am very transparent because that is what this world needs! With all my love, Laire

Posted on July 14, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Great post! My 4 siblings and I were raised the same way you are raising your kids and I think we all turned out pretty well-rounded, well-adjusted and happy. =) Sadly the same can’t be said for those I know who were raised the way you talked about. Kids out of wedlock, cheating, divorce, etc, etc. I wish there were more parents of kids in my generation who raised their kids the same way I was raised. It sure would make it a lot easier for some of us to find acceptable spouses lol. Keep up the good work – your kids will thank you one day. I am so thankful for the way I was raised. I’m sure it wasn’t always easy on my parents, and people didn’t always understand (we kids didn’t either at times) but I am thankful they never gave in or changed how they did things. Now we can live productive lives with no baggage to drag around with us.

  2. Praise God for reaching people through you. I have grown so much in my foundation this morning scince I have been reading your blog. Bless you Laire and thank you so much for being faithful to God to still speak truth. Tara.

  3. Despite of this wicked and sinful generation, Jesus can still save. I was the 14 year old wearing skin tight belly showing skirts, with makeup, dating a guy 4 years older than me, working almost every day after public school and had Christian parents. I wish they would have done a better job molding me and guiding me to Christ, but they didn’t and Jesus showed His glory in my life through it all. Now I have the privelege of being changed into someone who looks more like Christ and helping my parents learn biblical truths they missed along the way. The Lord protected me despite bad choices and brought me to be one of His people. All glory to Him, because though God’s means of bringing some to Him are faithful, biblical parents, he can show himself strong by saving those who don’t have that privalege.

  4. wonderingwanderingpilgrim

    What age do you think is a good time to teach apologetics to prepare them for the constant attacks on Christianity (such as the reliability of the Bible, supposed contradictions, etc)? And how do you go about preparing them for the experience of almost all society telling them things like ‘evolution has disproved God,” and “Jesus was only a historical figure, the Gospels are lies” etc when they have never been out there to see it? Especially when they go to college it will be hard to accept so many professors telling them Christianity is wrong. Would it be less of a shock to expose them to it earlier so that you can help them navigate it?

    • Excellent questions. In our home our oldest is 10, he has been taught from a young age from not only a biblical perspective but how to defend his faith and creationism from a scientific perspective. When I say I am raising them in a bubble, it doesn’t mean my kids are not more equipped than college students out there to defend their faith biblically and back it up with science. 🙂 From the age of 8, Franky has watched PhD’s in the filed of biochemistry, biology, microbiology etc, who happen to be creationists defend creationism from a scientific stand point. Last year we watched Kent Hovind’s 8-9 series dvd on creationism vs evolution, dinosaurs etc. We are constantly looking for documentaries on creationism, apologetics, eschatology etc. He has watched all of Lee Strobel’s documentaries. We have read books on creationism from a scientific stand point. When he goes to school (he has to attend public school unfortunately), and he is told about evolution. He is grounded enough both biblically and scientifically to disprove it. We have gone over all the flaws in Darwins theory etc. He knows EVERYTHING that evolutionists claim and how to refute it. All our kids will. Bible reliability is taught in our home (archeological findings etc), and not taught again unless the question comes up. I teach them from a perspective that the Bible is the Word of God. When the question comes up of how reliable it is, there are plenty of resources to go to. I do not need to worry about college. The years to ground them in truth is the early years, not college. If you haven’t equipped them to be able to refute and debate both apologetics and scientific facts concerning their faith by the time they go to college, your chances of them remaining int he faith are minimal. Franky started learning exegesis and hermeneutics last year in 3rd grade. All the kids will learn to interpret the Bible and will be taught reformed theology. College is of no concern to me. By that time they will be well equipped to handle the toughest theological/scientific questions. It all starts at a young age. I love science. I want to impart the love of science to our children as well because science has NEVER and will NEVER disprove creationism. 🙂 Franky has also been taught about DNA, laminin, and other scientific markers that point to a creator. To him is common sense because he has been exposed to all of it. Both evolution and creationism. He has been taught to defend his faith, not because mom and dad say that’s what you ought to believe but because he has seen the proof. He has come to his own conclusions after much research. That is what i strive for…with all my kids. Contradictions in the Bible are simple to square away when you know exegesis and hermeneutics. I do expose my children to everything that is says about the Bible and Christianity out there. But unlike many other parents, we actually sit with them, do research, we run to science etc to equip them to refute such lies. Like I said college is not the time to worry, or you will definitively end up worrying. My girls are 2 and 3 and they are being taught about creationism already. All other 4 will be homeschooled. Grounded and more than equipped to defend the faith.
      I pray that helps you. 🙂

  5. This is an incredible blog post, Laire. I love how you keep it real. Oh the hypocrisy of people to complain about this generation but yet do not want parents to protect their children’s minds from the wicked degeneration. It is parent peer pressure! I won’t buy into it and thank you for being so bold & loving to help us see clearly. God bless you and this blog. May much good fruit come from this 🙂 Love you!

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