I decided to take some time off of Facebook. 🙂 A retreat with God and a fresh perspective on my role as a wife and mother.  I realize that good things sometimes become bad habits. Having a ministry on FB at times consumes all my free time and that is something I should never allow. So I took it to the Lord and He was clear…”spend time with me instead of doing things for me…” I also talked to my hubby about it and he was so gracious to tell me the truth in love. 🙂 So I listened. I listened because I fear God. Let me explain…when things in my life are out of balance conviction comes knocking. I can only ignore it for so long before God goes to my precious husband for him to deal with me. He is not harsh or mean…he is tender, sweet and loving yet is unafraid to tell me when my priorities are out of place. He does it out of love and because he wants what’s best for my life. I fear my Lord…the correct term is revere. I want His best for me. I want to spend time with Him, not just doing things for Him. I want to know His heart and fully enjoy the blessings He has given me. So I am fasting from FB, not that it is bad in and out of itself but the time I was spending on FB I am not spending reading the word and countless books…and I have got to tell you dear friends I feel refreshed and at ease. My thinking was somewhat flawed. I thought that since I was sharing the gospel, discussing theology and ministering to others THAT is the most valuable thing I can do for God. Boy was I mistaken. I knew in my heart this was not so but somehow I got caught up in “doing something bigger with more importance” than ministering to my own little ones. I knew there was nothing bigger than ministering to my children but my heart was not there yet…it was coming along. I now believe in my heart that my main ministry is my children. There is no one more important then them. To share the gospel with the lost is what I do in my home. Daily living it out before them and shepherding their hearts to the Savior.

Today I read one of my favorite blogs (Unplugged Family) and decided to do the same thing for our celebration of “love day” (we don’t celebrate St.Valentines day). I had such a great time with the little ones. We wrote down some things we were thankful for and hung them on willow bark. 🙂

Lex asks if she can do “school” on the weekends!

My little princess

They ❤ arts & crafts time

My sweet boy just loved watching his sisters

Lex loved decorating it!

JJ loves glue sticks!

Adding Jesus loves me stickers…

We recycle bottles and reuse them as you can see

It’s coming along…

The best one!!!

My tiny love…

The finished product

As a stay at home mom, I know there are times when I wrestle with believing that what I am doing day in and day out is of the utmost importance. Our culture makes it very clear to us that stay at home moms are those who have no hope in getting a “real job”. We are looked down upon and to top it off we wrestle with our own fears of inadequacy and “doing enough” or something “big enough” to be someone important enough. 🙂 So we run to alternative ways in which we can feel like we are making an impact. We pour our lives in “doing” instead of BEING. God created us as human beings not human doings. And where you are is exactly where He wants you. Even if the world is unaware of what you do, of your sacrifice…who cares? I mean really? God sees it. He is watching your faithfulness to your husband and children. Your selflessness and devotion. He cares about all the dishes you have to do, he cares about the attitude you have when you do them. He knows our heart better than we do so when our priorities are out of whack, He gently corrects us and guides us ont he right path. What I do in my home matters just as much as someone who has a hugely successful ministry because it is where God placed me. He entrusted me with my own ministry. My beautiful family. The days you feel like you aren’t making a difference, stop and look at the little lives you get to mold every day and thank God for allowing you to do so. It is an outstanding privilege and responsibility to raise the next generation.

About Disciple of Christ, Wife, Mommy of 5 blessings & NM Top Earner.

As a wife, homeschooling stay at home mom of 5 beautiful blessings, taxi, chef, doctor, philosopher etc, my life is full of adventures everyday. Most of the adventures lead me to find another lost piece of my identity concealed deep within my heart. I have always felt that there was more to life than just “making it through”. After 5 little ones (4 under 4 & in diapers), I lost all the pieces I had found along the way. I was left with thinking my identity was being a wife and mom. “This can’t be all there is to me!”, I reasoned. Who am I? What’s in my heart? Why do I thrive around beauty and my heart leaps for joy when experiencing something as simple as a sunset. A feeling like I am free, inside. My heart can breathe again as if it had been holding its oxygen all along. Did God make me like this, I wondered? I felt guilty for longing to let my heart be free once again. After all the picture we have of a “perfect” woman is one that is ALWAYS busy! Always volunteering, always giving of herself with never once a thought of the state of her inner being. That is why we lose our hearts. Vulnerability is not welcomed anywhere. Femininity in its purest form is frowned upon. Why? Because women are supposed to be tough! The kind of tough that is just wrong. We are trained to hide our vulnerability, along with our femininity, very early in life. The wounds we have received as little girls leave us reacting as women like that wounded little girl would: we retreat, we regress. The message we received? You can’t trust anyone! Your femininity and vulnerability is a weakness. Most of us walk through life “playing” or pretending to be someone we’re truly not. As adults, we make choices based on how we were programmed when we were young. The real us hides somewhere inside, waiting to be rescued. Like a wounded animal hiding from its master, wanting to trust and soar again, but so afraid of the uncertainty that awaits. The risk is not worth it, we think to ourselves. To be quite honest most of you have not found a safe place to be yourselves. Embarking on a quest to find the real you takes courage. God created you in His image. Adam bears the image of a warrior God. A man is supposed to tell the world, on God’s behalf, He will come through for you. Eve bears the image of a captivating God and her heart is made to show His beauty. A woman is supposed to tell the world, everything is ok. She is that calm & quiet spirit. Safety; a place of refuge and healing beauty. This is what our hearts long for; Eden. The place for which we were created. The place in our hearts we know we belong. I am just a simple girl on a quest to finding my heart. Not the way I was “shaped” by the world but the way God created me. I pray that this journey will be encouraging and uplifting to others. I am going on an adventure and invite you to come with me! I am very transparent because that is what this world needs! With all my love, Laire

Posted on February 15, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Thank you!! I have been peeking at your blog a little bit every day, since I discovered it! I have four children of my own, so I haven’t had a lot of time, but I assure you, every five minutes I get here and there is really making an impact on how I view things! 🙂

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