Expanded! I’m raising Homemakers, NOT independent women!

I am raising homemakers! I am not raising independent, I can do everything men can do, career oriented ladies ( and YES, I am talking about the modern feminist mindset that has creeped into the churches). I am raising, God-fearing, modest (not to be confused by Amish!), virtuous, HOMEMAKERS! Our girls will have the option to NOT go to college…(as you may be well aware of girls are almost expected to go to college, that is just what you do in the modern westernized culture…it’s almost a formula!)  I will not harp on this issue like I will my boys.

I will not raise women who have DRIVE to be “something”, with the kind of mentality that homemaking is “nothing” or less than. I will not raise women who are career seeking INSTEAD of God pleasing. They will have the option to go to college if they so desire, but they will always know where their priorities lie and what God expects of them. This society may disagree all they want but, I am in this world NOT of this world. God created women to be the helper, her husband’s supporter, encourager and lover…to train her children at home and to LOVE her God-given role (Deut 6, Titus 2 and many more). I am raising young ladies of integrity. Teaching them by example to love and fear the Lord first and foremost. To love their future husband and to be workers at home, diligently teaching/training her children in the way’s of the Lord.

I am not raising “independent” women. I am raising women who transfer their dependency from us (her parents) to her master, the Lord. I have no interest in my girls having a career for the sake of having a “real life”. I am raising girls who do not fit in the mold this world has carved for women. I am raising women who will be committed to fulfilling the role God has outlined in His word for them. Women that want nothing more than to please the Savior. They will have the option to go to college (I will highly encourage education or ministry work)…but they are free to pursue their God given gifts so long they understand when they have a family, career is secondary. Training her own children IS her calling and priority and she must do everything possible to fulfill her call (that may mean cooking from scratch to save money, having a smaller home, only one vehicle etc).

As my girls grow up and I am able to see what spiritual gifts they possess, I will be able to discern what God has called them to. One of them can have the ability and desire to sing gospel music…I have no objection to that. What I want my girls to understand is that their PRIORITY will be their Lord, husband , children and home (in that order). What I do have a problem with is all these christian parents who are NOT imparting these values in their girls. They want to raise independent, do it yourself, feminist (without knowing) women who will eventually send her children off to daycare or school in order to pursue what she WANTS, what she was taught to from a young age.

Now, my girls may have the gift of singleness and that will be a whole other issue but the like hood of that is very small. :) I am raising them as the majority not the exceptions. I am raising precious homemakers, Proverbs 31 ladies…not feminists…not independent…not I can do it all type of women. God doesn’t like those types, He knows their heart…they despise the role God created for them, they dislike being told what their biblical calling is, He fully knows their heart attitude. He loves a humble, modest, fully dependent on Him, lover of her family type of woman (which is also a mindset). He called her a VIRTUOUS WOMAN.

I have no interest in teaching my girls to “go for it all” and sprinkle Jesus on top. If you are an “independent” mother, your daughters will take on after you. They are learning how to be a woman from you! WHAT exactly are you teaching them? If Christ is your all, they will see it by the way you live your life. Your choices will show this. Christ said… “If you love me, obey my commands”…He did not say “if you love me, do whatever your heart tells you to…” The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked above all…We live by faith in obedience to the Bible not by what we want to do and hope God blesses our agenda!

Are you teaching your girls that homemaking is for second class citizens? You don’t have to say those words for them to see being a homemaker as that. By your actions the message will come across. I see Christian parents allowing their daughter to cheer, dance (in very skimpy clothing!), play sports BOYS are to play…I see more girls becoming more like BOYS (The feminist agenda! Train more boys to be like girls and more girls to be boys…gender neutrality is what’s in!)  We are erasing the line between a girl and a boy. Now we raise gender neutral kids. I see girls wearing the LONG basketball shorts, with the HUGE basketball shoes, a tank and the walk to go with it that says NOTHING more than I am one of the boys. Why? Why would you want your precious, feminine, beautiful and fragile ( YES wether you think so or not, your girls are VERY fragile in spirit), look, act and talk like this? Why wouldn’t you teach them to embrace their femininity & precious call to be homemakers. To be lovers of our Lord through fulfilling our call and doing what He has called EVERY SINGLE one of us to do?

EVERY single woman (except the ones with the gift of singleness) has a call to be a Titus 2 woman. That means we are to raise these precious little ones to love and embrace their God-given roles since they are young. My boys will understand their role and what is expected of them as head of their homes and providers. I tell franky (11 years old) that he will be sole provider of his home, to find what it is that God has called him to do, in order that he may be a good provider so his wife can stay home and train his children. We teach our boys that it is NOT his wife’s responsibility to go into the work field and any woman who wishes to date one of our boys and has that independent spirit….he needs to let GO! The woman he is to marry must be modest, humble, and must have a desire to fulfill her role as a homemaker and educator of her children. God forbid any of my boys bring home an immodest, independent young lady home…ohhh boy! That will not fly in our home because we are training them in what to look for and much like Dr. Voddie Baucham advocates, our boys will trust me with their hearts (as the girls will their dad) and together we will choose the girl God has for them. What qualities must a future wife possess and a degree is not even on the list. So I am training my girls to be homemakers, to look for certain qualities in a future husband (daddy will help in that arena). He must love his role as a provider and support her staying home and homeschooling the children among a laundry list of other things! :D

The point is that our children were created with unique talents by God, but God will never contradict His word. Men and women have defined roles in scripture within those roles God allows us to express out individuality and gifts…yet never compromising our role.

I am proud to say I am raising homemakers because that is what my God calls me to do!

Our home is a beautiful canvas for biblical hospitality, servanthood and discipleship. Our mission field is first and foremost our home…to disciple our children to fear and love the Lord, to know him intimately and to want to live for Him.

Note: This article addresses the majority of women not the exceptions (exp. Widows, single moms, or divorced ones). I do not raise my girls as the exceptions. The reason these are exceptions is because we live in a world full of sin. Sin entered the world through Adam. Things happen, people die, people divorce, we have children out of wedlock in our youth (I did!). There are consequences for our sin. I had to go to work when I was younger in order to provide for my son since I was single after having him out of wedlock at 18. At 19 I came to Christ, yet consequences are not taken away. God knows your heart. If you are one of those moms that HAS to work and your heart breaks as you drop your little ones at day care or school…God knows this! He knows you want to do what He called you to do but just can’t at this moment. He honors a heart that desires to please Him. If you drop your kids off happily to go off to your “own little world” because you simply do not want to raise them yourself, God knows that too. He knows where your heart is. If your heart desires to please Him bit your current circumstances do not allow you to do so, do not be discouraged. He knows that. :) Our God is a compassionate to those who have a contrite heart. Now, you can’t be going around doing what you want to do, claiming Grace and sprinkling Jesus on top. THAT is not real NT christianity. When He said “Follow Me” was not a call to like Him or believe in Him simply but a call to discipleship. If you truly love Him, you will want to do what he commanded. THAT is the fruit of a genuine christian. If you are not about the father’s business, seeking how to obey and please Him…I suggest you examine yourself to see if you are in the faith. I am a conservative christian much like Michelle Duggar. I raise my kids the complete opposite of this world and I am pleased with the outcome so far. My toddlers are incredible, my 11 year old is thriving in homeschooling and loves the Lord with all his heart. I am not perfect, neither is anyone else…but I love God with all my heart and will strive every single day to do what He called me to do as long as I live. I owe Him everything I am. 

Have a blessed day!

Excellent Article on the subject. http://raisinghomemakers.com/2013/22-ways-to-raise-a-home-wrecker/

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About Disciple of Christ, Wife and Mommy of 5 blessings!

As a wife, homeschooling stay at home mom of 5 beautiful blessings, taxi, chef, doctor, philosopher etc, my life is full of adventures everyday. Most of the adventures lead me to find another lost piece of my identity concealed deep within my heart. I have always felt that there was more to life than just “making it through”. After 5 little ones (4 under 4 & in diapers), I lost all the pieces I had found along the way. I was left with thinking my identity was being a wife and mom. “This can’t be all there is to me!”, I reasoned. Who am I? What’s in my heart? Why do I thrive around beauty and my heart leaps for joy when experiencing something as simple as a sunset. A feeling like I am free, inside. My heart can breathe again as if it had been holding its oxygen all along. Did God make me like this, I wondered? I felt guilty for longing to let my heart be free once again. After all the picture we have of a “perfect” woman is one that is ALWAYS busy! Always volunteering, always giving of herself with never once a thought of the state of her inner being. That is why we lose our hearts. Vulnerability is not welcomed anywhere. Femininity in its purest form is frowned upon. Why? Because women are supposed to be tough! The kind of tough that is just wrong. We are trained to hide our vulnerability, along with our femininity, very early in life. The wounds we have received as little girls leave us reacting as women like that wounded little girl would: we retreat, we regress. The message we received? You can’t trust anyone! Your femininity and vulnerability is a weakness. Most of us walk through life “playing” or pretending to be someone we’re truly not. As adults, we make choices based on how we were programmed when we were young. The real us hides somewhere inside, waiting to be rescued. Like a wounded animal hiding from its master, wanting to trust and soar again, but so afraid of the uncertainty that awaits. The risk is not worth it, we think to ourselves. To be quite honest most of you have not found a safe place to be yourselves. Embarking on a quest to find the real you takes courage. God created you in His image. Adam bears the image of a warrior God. A man is supposed to tell the world, on God’s behalf, He will come through for you. Eve bears the image of a captivating God and her heart is made to show His beauty. A woman is supposed to tell the world, everything is ok. She is that calm & quiet spirit. Safety; a place of refuge and healing beauty. This is what our hearts long for; Eden. The place for which we were created. The place in our hearts we know we belong. I am just a simple girl on a quest to finding my heart. Not the way I was “shaped” by the world but the way God created me. I pray that this journey will be encouraging and uplifting to others. I am going on an adventure and invite you to come with me! I am very transparent because that is what this world needs! With all my love, Laire

Posted on March 18, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.

  1. So it sounds like those who do work outside the home should feel guilty… Well, sorry, but some of us don’t have the means to stay home. Sometimes both parents HAVE to work in order to provide for their children; we don’t have a choice. My husband is a minister, but the church cannot afford to pay very much because it is a small congregation. So, we both have full time jobs in order to pay the bills. It was very hurtful to read this post, because the takeaway for someone like me basically reads as “You are a terrible mother”. So thanks for that.

    • Heather;

      What you have missed (and quite a few others) is that when someone writes about what the Bible teaches, they are writing to the majority not the exceptions. When the Bible says women are to be homemakers in Titus 2 and other scripture, it speaks to the general audience. It is not taking into account the sinful world we live in. We live in a sinful world therefore we have consequences for sin (forcing a mom to have to go to work…like a child out of wedlock thus forcing her to be a single mom)…widows and divorced parents. Things happen, painful things happen…I get it! God does too! Does that mean that we go around advocating the opposite of scripture because of the minority? No! The bible is clear on what the roles of a husband and wife are. I am not raising my girls to be independent feminists who have the MINDSET “I can do everything a man can do and better…” I am avoiding that mindset like the plague. Does that mean my girls can’t go to college? Absolutely not. My girls are actually brilliant and I encourage them to pursue everything God has for them in life. I raise them with the mindset that staying home and training her children IS the highest call God has given a woman. Does that mean God has that plan for every single woman? NO! There are women that have the gift of singleness. God hates the type of women that are very arrogant in their mindset…feminists who despise and reject the way he created a marriage to work and a house to run. Whoever has an issue with that, has an issue with God himself…not me. I raise my girls as the majority not the minority or exception. So many people have missed what I wrote because they did not read my article IN context…they read my article with their own ideas and notions of what they thought I was saying instead of what I actually said and it’s context. When we say God dislikes for women to go work outside their home and dump their children in a daycare that is exactly what it means does that mean God doesn’t understand those moms that are heartbroken to be dropping their kids off because they truly wish they would be able to take care of them? No. God knows your heart. If you are dumping your kids at a daycare because you think it’s ok and because you refuse to find ways to keep them with you by making lifestyle changes necessary or if you are heartbroken that you can’t care for them and have tried everything…from downsizing your home to selling a vehicle…whatever it takes. God knows your heart. THIS is a heart issue for God. He commanded in Deut 6 for parents to train their own children. It was not an option or an opinion He gave. The responsibility to train and raise out children lies with the parents…when you stand before God you will account for their training and what you did with the lives he trusted in your care…those lives were given to you in order to raise godly offspring nothing less. I encourage you to examine your heart and see where you stand before God in this matter. If you have done everything possible to train your own children and still have to go work to provide for them, God knows your heart…do not fret. If you are sending them off happily because you like working…independence…and well, you can use the income…He knows that too. Feminism has creeped in the churches today. We have women who run around living like they are the exception when truly they are the majority to whom God wrote the bible for. :)

      God knows your heart. If you have girls I pray you train them up as the majority, not the exception. Raise them up to be Titus 2 women who love their husbands, delight in training her children and caring for her home. Biblical homemakers, women who fear God and love obeying his commands is what this generation needs. We have plenty of feminists who “can do it all”…THOSE types is what I said God doesn’t like…I do not apologize for it. THAT is what I am avoiding with my precious girls. I will train them up as the majority and if God has planned for them to be the exception then He will let them know later on in life.

      This post was for a specific audience. NOT for unbelievers nor for post-modern/ emergent church goers. The truth hurts and it beckons for us to examine our hearts and lives to see what we are missing and align it as much as possible to His word…for His glory.

      I hope you have a wonderful day!

      • Yes, your girls can go to college, but you’ve stated only if they wish to pursue teaching or ministry. What if they have a gift in biology or chemistry? What if they were to go to go to school to be a doctor? Or to be a scientist who helps cure a certain cancer one day? I suppose we will just have to agree to disagree. And if I do have a girl, I will raise her to fear and honor her God, but I will also teach her that she is free to pursue anything she wishes – stay at home mom, business woman, astronaut, college professor, missionary, whatever. As long as she seeks God’s heart and plan for her, that is all that matters.

      • We can agree to disagree. My girls happen to have a passion for medicine (biology) if they wish to pursue it they are free to do so. They will know that when they choose to have a family…career goes in the back burner as she is to obey God first and foremost…her children are her number one priority. They are not something to check off a checklist. They ARE her ministry and calling. That is the difference between the way we raise our kids. You train them that they are number one and to do what they want…I will train mine to know God is number one and what he calls her to IS priority. If she has children, they ARE her priority. She doesn’t live for self but sacrifices self for God.
        Good day. :)

      • Ps. I clarified that point on my blog…thank you for bringing it to my attention. I didn’t explain it clearly enough. :)

      • I’m fairly certain my previous comment mentioned that my children will seek God’s plan for their lives and follow whatever that is. Never did I say that I will teach my children that they are #1. God is always first, and wherever he leads them is where they will go. I’m sorry you misunderstood. Best wishes to your family. Have a wonderful weekend.

  2. Have you written a post on what your teaching your boys?

      • Im sure you remember the day this blog was discussed on the babycenter feb 12 birth month. That’s how I ended up reading it and had my husband read it as well. Funny, today he asked me to forward it to him to pass on to a friend. Obviously, we don’t agree with everything written ourselves but the intent for the audience is clear. It’s certainly a good article to start a discussion on what we do teach our kids. To much focus is on how they can succeed financially instead of how they will succeed in their relationships these days, and that is just a pity and so clear to see in society now. As my husband says, we are all, men and women alike, under an umbrella of authority.

      • That authority we are under is God. The one we will all stand before on judgment day.
        I do know my blog was discussed. The audience was never intended to be non Christians. The bible says spiritual things are foolishness to those who are perishing.
        I invite you to send me a friend request on FB to my private page @ Lightner Crew. I would love to get to know you and your family.
        I also started a teaching in the book of Matthew, it’s a private group of ladies on FB. :)

      • Oh, and the reason I asked about the post on raising boys is b/c so much focus now has been on girls, how their raised, their ‘self esteem’, etc, etc. I think more writers need to look instead on how our boys are being raised. If they are taught to act as the heads of the household again, I think many women would find they could submit more easily and happily. A man that wavers or acts selfishly is perceived quickly and subconsciously as weak and many women feel they must then pick up the slack. Just a little rambling.

      • Nice. We both listened to the whole hour, and now I’ve started on his marriage sermon but that just ends up in one ear and out the other making dinner, and babies running around (sure you can relate). The book is on my amazon wish list now too. Thx! I rlly enjoyed it and found it beneficial. I think bc so many stay at home moms now are blogging that might be why the focus on raising girls is so much higher, as of course being a woman, etc. I’ll read up a bit more.

  3. My husband and I adopted four ready-made kiddos last year (now 8-14yo) and have a homemade baby due in two weeks. We started homeschooling our kids soon after adoption, and this has really hit the nail on the head as far as raising our girls! It’s stressful having lost so many years while they were with their birth parents and 2 years in foster care…. but God is SO good and we really appreciate how he uses other stay-at-home mommas to encourage and give Biblical advice to help in making up for lost time :) Thank you!

  4. I love this. It has touched me, confirmed some things and convicted me. I really love this entire thing

  5. Great post! God has definitely called Christian women to be keepers at home and train up their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. There’s no way around that command. It’s so encouraging to hear what is so contrary to today’s society of women who believe that financial cares are more important than God’s command. I believe the Proverbs 31 analogy only holds with Christ and the Church because the Church is perfected through Christ. I’m sure there has been no Christian woman who has exemplified the Proverbs 31 woman.
    Thanks again for the encouraging post.

  6. Amen, sister! I couldn’t say this any better. My twin daughters are soon-to-be Seniors at Capital U, my son starts college in the Fall. The girls are awesome young ladies with a heart for God. One will pursue teaching, until she’s a stay-at-home Mom – then she’ll teach 24/7 at home! The other is going into nusrsing (until she stays home) and is engaged to be married next June. They both already have begun mentoring & teaching Bible study to younger Christian women on campus, and I couldn’t be prouder of them.
    Dreama (better known as Kaitlyn , Taylor & Nathan’s Mom)

  1. Pingback: Janie | musings by carly

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